Sunday, 17 January 2010

2000 Ronan Keating: Life Is A Rollercoaster

I've written a fair bit of late regarding what I consider the criteria for a good pop song should be. The corollary of this of course is to consider what makes a BAD pop single. Luckily, I don't have to agonise over this too much; Mr Keating and his team have provided me with a cracking example to draw on. 'Life Is A Rollercoaster' is a bad pop song. A BAD one. Rick Nowels and Gregg Alexander phone in a piece of work that has all the ingredients of a forced exercise in producing something/anything to overcome a serious case of writer's block ("Hey baby, you really got me flying tonight. Hey sugar, you almost got us punched in a fight") while Keating himself phones in a vocal performance that delivers the "Life is a rollercoaster, just gotta ride it" payoff with all the substance and conviction of a gossip rag astrology columnist. 'Life Is A Rollercoaster' trundles along with its belly to the ground relying solely on the blind goodwill of Keating's fanbase to sell its one key mediocrity - if anyone else deigned to front such a tepid shot of lacklustre tedium then I doubt even a promise of free sex with every purchase would have been enough to shift many copies. Which is not the hallmark of a good pop song. No indeed.

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