2004 Peter Andre: Mysterious Girl

It's been a while since Peter Andre has put in an appearance 'round these parts, but on the strength of his previous entries, I can't say I've missed him. In hindsight, his style over substance, pretty boy persona mark him out as a proto 'Pop Idol' contestant, but on that charge he's innocent - Andre's first flush of success came before the whole phenomenon took hold and he was never one of the hopefuls. But then this re-charting of 'Mysterious Girl' (it was originally a number 2 hit in 1996) is as much down to reality television as anything offered up by Will Young and co. Why? Well in 2004, Andre's stock gained value due to his appearance in the popular UK reality show 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here' alongside glamour model cum media whore Katie Price (aka Jordan) where their blossoming onscreen romance and offscreen marriage played out in the popular media with a level of hysterical coverage usually reserved for domestic wars.

But that needn't distract us here - in June 1996, 'Mysterious Girl' pre-dated Andre's clutch of number ones that same year ('Flava' and 'I Feel You') by around three months, but unlike the R&B stylings of those latter songs, 'Mysterious Girl' takes a dreadlock holiday of his own and hitches its cart to a good times in the sun, cartoon reggae rhythm. As for the contents of that cart, it's business as usual with Pete's eye for the random ladies and his own cocksure cockiness of his own irresistibility to them ("And girl when you touch me, it's time to take it through the night") holding sway. In fact, Andre's enthusiasm to get the lass into bed is such that the tune and music are just so much baggage in the way of his seductive patter and he barges his way over LSD bright calypso beat as if it were her fat, ugly mate, with some rapped patois from one 'Bubbler Ranx'* only serving to add more stereotype than authenticity to a song that, ultimately, has all the clichéd depth of a Lilt advert. Except the product being sold here is Andre and his testosterone, two consumables I find very easy to resist.


* Curiously, I can find no information on Mr Ranx or what he did before/next anywhere on the internet save a spoof web page that suggests he was raised on a Texas ranch, loves eating cheese, eggs and beetroot salad fingers, once was a member of New Zealand's parliament (but was unfortunately forced to resign six months later when it was revealed that he had 48 middle names, all of which began in D) and has an ambition to move to Maidstone by 2014. At least, I think it's a spoof......